Top 10 Worst Remakes

A tribute to those films that producers and directors should have just left well enough alone.

10. Invasion 2007 - In this remake of an already twice remadeInvasion of the Body Snatchers, this effort fails for many reasons. The two most notable being explaining how the pods are taking over, snuffing the audiences fear of the unknown, and as a sacrilegious gesture, giving this film a happy ending. For shame.

9. War Of The Worlds 2005- What do you get if you combine Tom Cruise, Steven Spielberg, and a $100 million in effects? An epic fail. While staying true to the original premise, it fails to elicit believabilty in a modern context. For some reason, an advanced alien race still doesn't understand microbiology as germs are again their nemesis. And Spielberg fails to illustrate how the tripods become vulnerable. How do sick aliens cause the tripods to lose their shielding?

8. Swept Away 2002 - Under then husband and director Guy Richie, Madonna puts in the worst performance of her life. Yes, even worse than Who's That Girl? While the original was rich in political satire, here audiences wish it was Guy Richie who ended up lost at sea.

7. Nightmare On Elm St. 2010 - This re-imagining of the Nightmare On Elm St. franchise shows no signs of imagination. Even Oscar-Nominated actor Jackie Earl Haley cannot summon the charm and creepiness that Robert Englund gave to the character. Big budget dream sequences replace good old fashioned horror in this film that you'll wish you'd woke up sooner.

6. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 2005 - Premise: Take a timeless children's classic film and ruin it with CGI effects, uninteresting characters, and indecipherable musical numbers. Even charming Johnny Depp cannot save this films assault on the legacy of Willy Wonka. If candy rots your teeth, this film rots the imagination. 

5. The Haunting 1999 - A retelling of The Haunting of Hill House, this movie was unfortunately released at a time when a new technology called CGI mislead a lot of directors into thinking it would replace the finer art of storytelling. Few thrills and less chills, this is a forgettable adaptation of a classic ghost story.

4. King Kong 1976 - Funny how more than 40 years after the original, the effects look worse. The spirit of Kong is crushed under this films social agendas including the sexual revolution, as Jessica seems to be turned on by Kong, as well as Jeff Bridge's character, a boat, water, wine, a mirror, a southern breeze, and just about anything else. It also comments on the evils of big oil companies as they are, of course, the villains. Meanwhile poor Kong goes on a Godzilla-like rampage through the city before his traditional demise. Yet his fall fails to impact as heavy as the first.

3. The Stepford Wives 2004 -The original film was dark, creepy, and certainly was inspired by the woman's movement of the late 70's. This lighthearted, comical approach is both insulting to the spirit of the original, and the intelligence of the viewer. I'd be surprised if Bette Midler and Nicole Kidman would ever be invited to a NOW dinner.

2. Planet Of The Apes 2001 - Tim Burton's second trip on this board. Known for his gothic absurdity, he displays neither quality in this film. Instead we're treated to an overblown budget that seems to only improve on the make-up. Please Tim, stop monkeying around with classic movies.

1. Psycho 1998 - Hands down the worst remake of all time. It's arrogant to think you can improve upon genius. It's pointless to create a remake that is a line-by-line, shot by shot carbon copy of the original. Direcor Gus Van Stant proves he's both pointless and arrogant, if not just plain foolish in this failed effort. The studios would have profited had they simply colorized the original.