Monday, August 29, 2011

Top 10 Hottest Actresses Who Wont Go Nude, But Should

A tribute to the always teasing, never pleasing, Hollywood Hotties. These women obviously sell sexy, they just don't stand behind their own product. We get it ladies, your hot. You may look attractive in those sexy outfits, but isn't it what's underneath that counts?

10. Isla Fisher - This sexy star of Wedding Crashers lied to us with a body double. Although her fiance shows his assets constantly in films like Borat and Bruno, the likelihood of us ever seeing her naked is slim. She's in the process of converting to conservative Judaism at the behest of her significant other, Cohen. All we have to say is "oy vey."



9. Christina Applegate - This sexy star has been blue-balling us since 1987 as teen bimbo Kelly Bundy. After the 11 year success of the show, she went into film, but alas, no go. She has frustrated us for so long, she made Bud Bundys of us all. Doing movies like The Sweetest Thing doesn't help us respect her for her mind either.




8. Mila Kunis - Didn't expect to see much during That 70's Show, as it was a family program. But we had hoped for more when she transitioned into film. The best we got from this Forgetting Sarah Marshall star was an obvious photoshopped picture. She's young, and there's plenty of time for her to change her mind and make us all happy.




7. Jessica Biel - This super-hottie is standing firm on her no nudity clause. She enjoys being thought of as a sex symbol, but won't deliver the goods. Sad to think that all her best assets are only enjoyed by Justin Timberlake. Nothing against Justin, but he did date Britney Spears, and she turned bat-sh*t crazy. Don't want to see that happen to Jessica.






6. Jennifer Love Hewitt - This cutie of the big screen has been in everything from comedy, action, and horror. She just hasn't been in a nude scene. She's very insecure about her body, even when she worked so hard to take her weight off several years ago. Of her body she said, "I'm happy with my body, but there are days when I'm like 'Ugh! Really? Why is it so hard to fit in my jeans?" Guess what Jennifer, we don't want you in pants anyway.




5. Rachael Lee Cook - Only someone as hot as her can star in a film called She's All That, and not show any of that. Rachael says she is very shy about her body and will not only never do a nude scene, she won't even do one involving a body double. Perhaps she hasn't been on the internet, because thousands of fans that she's frustrated beyond the breaking point have photoshopped her doing many compromising things. Come on Rachael, a few seconds on film will be much more tame than what's appeared on the net.




4. Elisha Cuthbert - Imagine of Beethoven gave up music as a child. Imagine if Michael Jordan grew up playing tennis. Imagine if Moses got a broken ankle and didn't climb the mountain. What incredible benefits to humanity would be forever lost.  Such is the feeling we get knowing none of us will ever see this heavenly body in its full glory. Elisha, you are a selfish bitch..




3. Scarlett Johansson - When Tony Stark first laid eyes on her in Iron Man 2, he asked Pepper if he can have her. So, if a man like Tony can't see her naked, why should we be any different? As red hot as her name, Scarlett has an impressive resume of not showing her impressive rack. I hope she knows that if she doesn't eventually throw us a bone, her sexiness will get Lost In Translation.  


2. Megan Fox - This sizzling, sexy star of Transformers has more than meets the eye. A shame our eyes won't ever meet them. Megan Fox takes roles that scream "look at me" but then doesn't show us anything. Rule: You can't be a sexy woman, with the last name of "Fox", and not even show us a little tail.



1. Jessica Alba - The only time she took her clothes off for the camera was when she was invisible in the Fantastic Four. Fantastic four, we'd be happy just seeing her fantastic twos. In Sin City, she played a stripper, as long as she was a fully clothed stripper. What's her hang up? Jesus. Nudity compromises her principles. And we're left thumping something other than bibles.

2 comments:

  1. Check out Alba in The Sleeping Dictionary. That film is as hot as them come but for all of the frontal scenes, Jessica uses a body double.

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    1. Jessica Biel was naked in the movie " Powder Blue" she poured hot wax all over her naked breasts. So There!!!

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